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May 29, 2009

Uber Suckage Beyond All That Which Hath Sucketh Before

So the ultrasound confirmed my fears. Not my worst fears, because my worst fears included ending up with a child so severely disabled that we ended up like one of those families on Extreme Home Makeover whose houses are falling down around them and have no money and their child is dying and their other child is getting the shit end of the stick because of it. But Ty wouldn't come to my house and fix up my house all nice and send us all to Disneyland and we would just have to live with the suck. But anyway, where was I? Oh yes. There was no heartbeat on the ultrasound.

So thank you, everyone, for your kind words, and thoughts and prayers. It meant more than I can say that everyone was pulling for us. I now know what "walking around in a fog" means, because I've been doing it since yesterday afternoon. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself.

Oh, and then the suckiest of the suck is that the procedure to remove the baby is not until next Friday. So I get to walk around for a week all big and fat and pregnant (or not-pregnant - I'm not even sure what I'm considered now) with a dead baby inside me.

What the hell was I depressed for last time?

Oh, and today's Darren and my tenth anniversary. Happy anniversary to us.

Posted by Terri at May 29, 2009 10:13 AM

Comments

Oh Terri, Love you lots - that suckage is just beyond suckage - wish I could hug you in person.

Posted by: Dizzy Vizzy at May 29, 2009 11:26 AM

Oh my goodness, Terri, I am sorry beyond words can express - Ty Pennington aside. . . . Yeah, that's about it.

If you scream and fuss, would they move the procedure up sooner? I can't imagine that waiting a week is healthy physically, let alone psychologically. . .

My heart breaks for you and the boys - we are sending you lots of love and hugs from Boston.

Posted by: Beren at May 29, 2009 11:43 AM

Oh, Terri, I'm so sorry. *hugs you tightly*

You're in my thoughts and prayers, all of you.

Posted by: Juno at May 29, 2009 12:35 PM

I admire your strength, Terri.
I wish I could do or say something to make this better for you, but I can't.


I hope you are able to enjoy your anniversary!
10 years! <3 that's beautiful...

Posted by: Kristen at May 29, 2009 02:08 PM

Terri,

I'm so sorry. Nothing I can say will make you feel better, but please know I'm praying for peaceand comfort for you, Darren, and Dylan. If you need ANYTHING!!!!! please reach out. Even if it's to get out of the house and have a cup of coffee or help with Dylan or a shoulder to cry on. Thinking about you. HUGS!

Posted by: Jennifer at May 29, 2009 10:07 PM

All I can say is that I love you guys, and I wish that I could make this better. Enjoy Sesame Place and Happy Anniversary!!
Kristie

Posted by: kristie at May 30, 2009 06:28 PM

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