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January 24, 2006

Open Letter to my Unborn Child

Dear Fetus-Growing-Inside-Me:

Since you have not responded to my multiple attempts to talk to you through my stomach wall, I have written this letter outlining several points which I would like to bring to your attention:

Point the First: Although your Daddy thinks it's cute/fun/exciting when you kick and he can feel it, it is not necessary to continue said kicking at all hours of the day and night. Inappropriate kicking times are:
-any time between 1am and 5am
-in meetings when I am trying to speak intelligently
-in the car when I'm trying to merge and it is icy.
All other times are acceptable. Please restrain yourself from beating the crap out of my insides except at the acceptable times.

Point the Second: That is my bladder, not a trampoline. Jumping on it is not fun for Mommy.

Point the Third: When you are ready to be born (not for several months) you will be pushing your head downwards. Pushing your head out the front of my stomach or up into my diaphragm is not necessary at this point of time, nor is it comfortable.

Point the Fourth: Whatever it is you are doing in there that is making my feet swell up, please stop. Mommy can't afford all new shoes. Nor does she like looking like she has club feet.

Point the Fifth: There is no point the fifth.

Point the Sixth: Your Daddy and I are both very excited about your upcoming birth. Please don't beat me up too bad between now and then.

With Great Anticipation for your Arrival,
Mommy

Posted by Terri at January 24, 2006 09:19 AM

Comments

The less you beat her up now, the less you will hear "No way are you doing { insert activity here }. I didn't carry you for 9 months to have you do something like that!"

Posted by: Darren at January 24, 2006 09:34 AM

I truly think that you have a future tapdancer!!! Baby is just practicing for a dance recital!

Posted by: Vizma at January 25, 2006 10:06 AM

Too cute... the little one sounds quite active!

Posted by: Amber at January 25, 2006 09:21 PM

I am *so* sticking with cats.

Little Shiny, please be a nice shiny! I want your mommy still talking to me now and again. If you beat her up all the time, she'll be too exhausted for that!

Posted by: Juno at January 26, 2006 11:44 AM

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