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June 14, 2006

Terri's Questions About Parenthood

Do not read if you are offended by bodily functions.

  1. How is it that my child is equipped with phonedar, that as soon as I get on the phone something goes off in his head, causing him to go from zero to wailing in 2.2 seconds?

  2. What is it about a bath that causes the mother of all poop to happen 5 minutes after the bath, necessitating such a clean-up that both Mommy and Daddy have to get involved and usually resulting in a pee incident which soaks Mommy, Daddy, Dylan, his clothes and the changing table pad cover, negating whatever cleanliness resulted from the bath?

  3. How is it that having your head jammed in the crook of my arm is more appealing than sleeping in your nice comfy crib?

  4. What property of formula generates technicolor poop? I've seen formula - it's white. Where does the yellow, green and brown color come from?

  5. I've been with Darren for 10 wonderful years. What the heck did we talk about all that time when our conversations did not revolve around poop, pee, spitup, bathtime and sleep schedules?

  6. How did the word "toot" become an acceptable substitution for the word "fart"?

  7. What is with the cute little characters on the front of diapers? Seriously, the only people that see Elmo on the front of Dylan's diapers are Darren and me. Dylan can't bend his head like that yet. Wouldn't it be better to put something entertaining there for us, like cute sayings such as "Poop happens" or "Baby - The Ultimate in Birth Control?"
Oh well, I hear Dylan waking up - I'll have to finish my list later...

Posted by Terri at June 14, 2006 01:28 PM

Comments

#1: Same reason that my phone starts ringing the minute I sit down to write - Murphy's Law works for everything, including babys!

#2: Or five minutes after I cleaned up the litter boxes! If you find the solution, please let me know. (YUCK: how can such small furry animals produce so much toxic waste? I think I'll be well-prepared for anything a baby will do to me!)

#3: I think being with Mommy is simply *paradise* for any baby, and you're a very loving mommy! No wonder he wants to snuggle with you and not lie lonely and alone in his bed!

#4: Are you sure you should post secrets of biological warfare on the internet? ;-)

#5: Just wait until you talk about where the hell your boy is and with whom at 3 am in the morning! At least now you know exactly where he is and what he does!

#6: Awww, that's cute! But don't teach him non-sense words for body-parts when he grows older, that -could- get embarrassing for him at some point.

#7: We could put up a petition for printing excerpts of the Silmarillion on them! ;-)

I hope he lets you sleep more, and congrats again and again and again!

Love,
Juno

Posted by: Juno at June 16, 2006 05:59 PM

#1: Same reason that my phone starts ringing the minute I sit down to write - Murphy's Law works for everything, including babys!

#2: Or five minutes after I cleaned up the litter boxes! If you find the solution, please let me know. (YUCK: how can such small furry animals produce so much toxic waste? I think I'll be well-prepared for anything a baby will do to me!)

#3: I think being with Mommy is simply *paradise* for any baby, and you're a very loving mommy! No wonder he wants to snuggle with you and not lie lonely and alone in his bed!

#4: Are you sure you should post secrets of biological warfare on the internet? ;-)

#5: Just wait until you talk about where the hell your boy is and with whom at 3 am in the morning! At least now you know exactly where he is and what he does!

#6: Awww, that's cute! But don't teach him non-sense words for body-parts when he grows older, that -could- get embarrassing for him at some point.

#7: We could put up a petition for printing excerpts of the Silmarillion on them! ;-)

I hope he lets you sleep more, and congrats again and again and again!

Love,
Juno

Posted by: Juno at June 16, 2006 06:00 PM

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